


If Kaiju, Therefore Mecha

by Elizabeth Culmer (edenfalling)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Friendship, Gen, Kaiju, Mecha, Plans, discussion of tropes relating to kaiju and mecha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 20:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1360531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/edenfalling/pseuds/Elizabeth%20Culmer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If your life isn't already enough like a shonen anime, just add kaiju and mecha.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Kaiju, Therefore Mecha

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ratherrumpus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratherrumpus/gifts).



> A more direct response to ratherrumpus's prompt, which sadly failed to meet the minimum word count.

"I think I speak for both of us when I say that's not what I was expecting," you say as you stare down into the faintly glowing chasm. Something moves in the depths, casting wavering, alien shadows against the jagged stones. You think it might have feathers. Or maybe tentacles. Possibly both.

Actually, almost certainly both, all things considered. The enormous biological impossibilities that have been crashing toward your little alchemized village on a regular schedule are a lot more like horrorterrors than anything evolution would construct without a _lot_ of outside prodding. Or maybe alcohol. If evolution were a personified being, that is, rather than a description of a scientific theory.

Your fingers itch for a rifle trigger. You are getting _really tired_ of monsters trampling your experimental seed plots.

Beside you, Dirk shrugs. "It wasn't high on my probability list, sure, but what self-respecting roboticist and anime connoisseur doesn't keep 'kaiju attack' on his list of explanations for any and all events in need of explanation?"

You blink. "Kaiju?"

There is a brief but noticeable pause. "Godzilla?" Dirk offers.

"You mean he has an actual species classification? Cool! Is that from one of the movies or just fandom handwaving?" Grandpa would have loved that. You're pretty sure Godzilla was one of his favorite movies, both the original Japanese version and the American remake. You think he secretly wanted to hunt Godzilla himself.

"No, kaiju is a catchall Japanese word for giant monster. They don't have to be radioactive dinosaurs. They don't even have to be Japanese. King Kong probably qualifies, from a certain point of view," Dirk explains. "I thought you were into anime. Did I get that wrong?"

"I was generally more interested in western cartoons," you tell him. "There was enough weirdness in my life without adding gratuitously weird Japanese shit."

"Huh. Does that mean you've completely missed out on the giant robot versus giant abomination of nature genre?"

You consider this. "Probably? Unless _Transformers: Beast Wars_ counts."

"Nah. We're talking humanoid battle suits piloted by untrained teenagers with unnatural hair and eye colors, not sentient alien lifeforms," Dirk says firmly. "Speaking of which." He points down at the glowing chasm, then waves his hand between himself and you. "Kaiju. Two teenage robotics experts with freaky hair and eyes. I'm sensing an opportunity here."

You favor him with a skeptical look. "Do you have any idea how hard it would be to make a humanoid robot that can both walk and fly? Not to mention one with enough room to fit a cockpit? It's a lot simpler to drop a bomb into the cave, or maybe send the Time players to undo whatever set this place up to start with."

"We could. But where's the fun in that?"

You glance down at the chasm again. The shadows thrash. The distant sound of crashing rocks and a bugling bellow of rage and aggression drift upwards in a medley of echoes.

It's not like you can't keep shrinking and squishing the monsters if the robots glitch. And you haven't had a chance to play around with mechanical stuff in such a long time...

"Okay, Pilot Strider. You're on."

**Author's Note:**

>  **Prompt:** After their session is complete, the game's resident robot experts, Jade Harley and Dirk Strider, team up to rebuild Skaia Labs. Is this merely a shallow excuse for them to build giant robots together, pilot said robots, and annoy all their team members who dislike wanton giant-robot destruction? Perhaps. Is it going to be awesome regardless? Absolutely.


End file.
